Project You – Parental Problems

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How to fix your relo with your rents.

Can’t seem to get along with your parents no matter how hard you try? Feel like they just don’t understand where you’ve coming from? Don’t stress - it's possible to salvage your relationship even though you. Really, it is!

Why we fight

Even if you haven’t done anything particularly wrong, your relationship with your parents can be tested due to factors beyond your control. Remember, they often have their own stresses with work, finances and their own relationships. Combine this with raising children and it’s no surprise friction can come between you both. Dr (and rad dad) Timothy Sharp (chief happiness officer at The Happiness Institute) explains that the most obvious reason tension exists is the need for freedom and individuality. “Teens crave independence, which if/when resisted by parents can be problematic,” he says. “Also, the most important thing for most girls is their social relationships, which means parents quickly get demoted in the pecking order and feel as though they’re only valued for their money and ability to drive.’’

Even if you haven’t done anything particularly wrong, your relationship with your parents can be tested due to factors beyond your control. Remember, they often have their own stresses with work, finances and their own relationships.

Even if you haven’t done anything particularly wrong, your relationship with your parents can be tested due to factors beyond your control. Remember, they often have their own stresses with work, finances and their own relationships.

Navigating through your teen years and dealing with the physical, emotional and social changes can also culminate in irritability and moodiness, which is typically taken out on those closest, like your mum and/or dad. “So arguments can easily arise due to personal changes and different values, priorities and ideas of appropriateness,” Dr Tim explains.

Say joz

According to Dr Tim, despite what we might think, our 'rents are actually human (no, really!) and feel the stress of a relationship breakdown following an argument just as much as we do. “One of the simplest and best strategies for you and your parents is to learn how to apologise,” Dr Tim explains. “Every family argues but the happiest and healthiest ones make up much more quickly. They’re also more successful at NOT holding grudges, talking issues out and moving on as quickly as possible.”

“One of the simplest and best strategies for you and your parents is to learn how to apologise,” Dr Tim explains

“One of the simplest and best strategies for you and your parents is to learn how to apologise,” Dr Tim explains

Trust is a must

The best way to have a strong relationship with your parents is to show them they can trust you. Whether they’ve asked you to do the dishes or babysit your little bro, or you really want to go to that “party of the year” with your friends, your actions determine how they’ll react. Dr Tim admits it really comes back to what you DO. “Not what you intend to do or say you’ll do but what, in reality, you do,” he says. “So behave in a way that’s worthy of trust and trust will come.”

The best way to have a strong relationship with your parents is to show them they can trust you.

The best way to have a strong relationship with your parents is to show them they can trust you.

 
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